So this is going to be the first of a series of things I want to talk about. But first of all I have to address the fact that I haven’t posted any recipes recently. This is because I have been away (because it is summer baby) but don’t worry this will be rectified very soon. Anyway back to my original subject……..Work. So I have come to an impasse of sorts. Now that operation sleep has succeeded and I am no longer a sleep deprived maniac and can actually see properly again I have realiased something. I do not enjoy being a chef. It is on the whole (for me anyway) a monotonous and thankless job. The thing is is that I live with my cousin who lives for cheffing she is one hundred percent in the right job for her. She has committed to it for the rest of her life. And her passion is what made me finally accept that it is not for me.
I find both my college course and my job deeply uninspiring. The only thing I am really and truly interested in is writing and free from cooking (as in free from dairy, wheat and refined sugar). And the thing is is I just don’t know how to get a job in that area!! Ireland hasn’t really embraced it yet and so those kind of jobs are few and far between. But it is so lonely that being my passion. I don’t know anybody that shares it with me and while people are interested up to a point that is all it is, interest to a point. I envy people who have passions that loads of people share like sport or dance. Then you can find comfort in your fellow devotees. Most of my peers just think I am nuts.
I was in London last week with my family. They were all on the first leg of an epic interailing adventure, which is pretty flipping cool bearing in mind that they are going with my profoundly deaf autistic ten year old brother. On my last day myself and my big sister went to Camden market, it was so beautiful and sunny and there was a great buzz. Camden proudly sports both an AMAZING organic supermarket (which was actually surprisingly reasonable) and wait for it…….wait for it…….this unbelievable gallette stand. This girl had bought this little trailer and done it up and she was selling freshly squeezed juice and dairy and wheat free gallettes (which are like crepes). And I was like this is what I want!! This is what my life to be….a little snapshot in to the future.
I know this is such a cliche but I hate being lost (though aren’t all twenty year old’s lost?). I just want to know what to do and what I should be working towards. I want some aim and direction or even a sign…..ANYTHING. I can’t see my future stretching in front of me and what I am going to do. I know what I want to do but I just don’t know how to get there……I want to create something that is all mine, something that I can be proud of. So any suggestions would really help!