So I woke up this morning and had mild breakfast related panic. At this moment in time I have 74 euro until the fifth (the fifth!?!) of august. Now luckily for me when I got paid this month I went absolutely insane and bought loads of irrelevant food products. In my defence a lot of them were on special offer so I don’t feel too bad. One of the aforementioned products was dessicated coconut which was selling in Lidl for an unbelievable 1.49. A steal!! Then the aldi down the road finally opened and it changed my life. That is how sad how I am. They had nectarines for 69c which is how this recipe was born. That and the fact that I had a day off and I like to have a good breakfast on days when I am not working. It reassures me!! Anyway so here is the recipe………
Pancakes for the sugar free creatures of the world……aka………Nectarine and coconut pancakes;
- half a cup of shredded coconut (or enough to bind the mixture together)
- two eggs whisked seperately
- two very ripe bananas mashed up into a pulp.
- a nectarine cut up into tiny bits.
Mash your banana in a bowl separately. Whisk your eggs. Add your coconut to the bananas along with your eggs and nectarine. You want the the mixture to be thick so add enough coconut to ensure this. You then cook it in a hot pan with either vegetable oil or coconut oil (depending on what your budget can afford that day). I like my pancakes to be small so I use a tablespoon of the mixture and then flatten it out but it really depends on what you are into. Fry them until they are golden brown on each side and serve immediately. I serve mine with natural yogurt and maple syrup if I am feeling decadent and on their own if I am not!
So this is going to be the first of a series of things I want to talk about. But first of all I have to address the fact that I haven’t posted any recipes recently. This is because I have been away (because it is summer baby) but don’t worry this will be rectified very soon. Anyway back to my original subject……..Work. So I have come to an impasse of sorts. Now that operation sleep has succeeded and I am no longer a sleep deprived maniac and can actually see properly again I have realiased something. I do not enjoy being a chef. It is on the whole (for me anyway) a monotonous and thankless job. The thing is is that I live with my cousin who lives for cheffing she is one hundred percent in the right job for her. She has committed to it for the rest of her life. And her passion is what made me finally accept that it is not for me.
I find both my college course and my job deeply uninspiring. The only thing I am really and truly interested in is writing and free from cooking (as in free from dairy, wheat and refined sugar). And the thing is is I just don’t know how to get a job in that area!! Ireland hasn’t really embraced it yet and so those kind of jobs are few and far between. But it is so lonely that being my passion. I don’t know anybody that shares it with me and while people are interested up to a point that is all it is, interest to a point. I envy people who have passions that loads of people share like sport or dance. Then you can find comfort in your fellow devotees. Most of my peers just think I am nuts.
I was in London last week with my family. They were all on the first leg of an epic interailing adventure, which is pretty flipping cool bearing in mind that they are going with my profoundly deaf autistic ten year old brother. On my last day myself and my big sister went to Camden market, it was so beautiful and sunny and there was a great buzz. Camden proudly sports both an AMAZING organic supermarket (which was actually surprisingly reasonable) and wait for it…….wait for it…….this unbelievable gallette stand. This girl had bought this little trailer and done it up and she was selling freshly squeezed juice and dairy and wheat free gallettes (which are like crepes). And I was like this is what I want!! This is what my life to be….a little snapshot in to the future.
I know this is such a cliche but I hate being lost (though aren’t all twenty year old’s lost?). I just want to know what to do and what I should be working towards. I want some aim and direction or even a sign…..ANYTHING. I can’t see my future stretching in front of me and what I am going to do. I know what I want to do but I just don’t know how to get there……I want to create something that is all mine, something that I can be proud of. So any suggestions would really help!
This is a list of things I looooove at the moment;
- Booja Booja ‘ice-cream’. The bees knees. Fact.
- Maple syrup. I am in love with it. The perfect substitute for sugar in baking.
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj7jTtyCmOU. Brilliant song.
- Being able to walk around again easily. Such a relief.
- Electronic cigarettes. I am trying to quit and they have been such a help.
- The blog http://heathereatsalmondbutter.com/
- In the same theme Cashew butter. Filled with oleic oil and delish.
- Pop art lipstick. I am currently wearing Coral Queen by Rimmel but I also dabble in Morange by Mac.
- Daytime drinking…..not possible during the academic year.
- Of course….my outsiders 67. The most comfortable shoes I have ever worn.
- The Happy Pear in Greystones. Surprising value….Soup and two salads for six euro.
- My family. Where would I be without them??
So a while ago I posted about operation sleep. The aim of the game was to get more sleep and see what happened. Well almost two weeks ago now I had to go into hospital for Five days. All I did was sleep. Then when I came home, sleep featured heavily in my schedule. I have essentially spent the last fourteen days catching up on all the shut eye that I have been missing out on for the last year.
And I feel wonderful. I can enjoy things again. Things like spending all afternoon sitting on on steps in the city centre drinking rum and tropical fruit juice with good friends. I can drink and have fun again! On Saturday I stayed up all night, dancing on tabletops and going for early morning paddles and I enjoyed myself. I didn’t cry once or think people were being horrible. Going out and being able to function the next day is a novel feeling.
It’s amazing what a difference it makes to your mind and your ability to see the light in things. Ages ago my mom bought me this book Called the confidence trap. This book has been in my bag untouched for quite a while. Then when I had a bit of a chance I opened it and realised what I had been missing out on. The Confidence trap is a mine of useful information and tips about how not be such a bleedin’ disaster all the time i.e Me. Now that I have some wits about me I can actually use the techniques in my day to day life and they are so good!
Believe me you will be hearing so much more about The Confidence trap. This I feel like is only the beginning.
P.S (Because it is sunny, the next time you are on Youtube Check out this song it is perfectly suited to the weather we are having. Bondax- Gold (Snakehips Bootleg)
The other day I had a nasty surprise and I ended up in Hospital for five days. Today has been my first day of freedom so I ran amok (as much as you can when you have just had surgery and you have two holes in your stomach) and made these. I don’t really agree with the whole comfort eating thing but I have to say there are some days when things just seem so bleak that you need a pick me up. This little number did just the trick. I would have made them with quinoa at home but as I am currently in my parents house for the next few days I used pinhead oatmeal instead.
(That is why there are two p’s!)
Pinhead, peanut butter and jelly biscuits;
- one cup of pinhead oatmeal
- three cups of water
- 3 tbs of peanut butter (or to taste)
- a small handful of peanuts (optional)
- 1 tbs flax seed (optional)
- 1 tbsp honey
- a blob of sugar free jam (I use follan)
Preheat the oven to 180’c
You simply bring the oatmeal to the boil and then let if simmer for fifteen minutes or until it looks ready. then you add in the honey, flax seed, peanuts (optional) and peanut butter to taste. What i mean is I love peanut butter so I add in a lot but some people find it overwhelming. Then you place a dessert spoon of the mixture to a a tray and smooth it out. Press your thumb into the middle of each biscuit and put your jam in there. Repeat until you have used up all the mixture. Bake for ten minutes or until golden brown. Leave to cool and then enjoy!!
Recently I got a new job. After a year of working normal restaurant hours (getting home at twelve o’clock, working fourteen hour shifts) I have some how stumbled upon a pot of gold. I now work from Eight in the morning to Four in the evening most days. WHICH IS AMAZING. Except that all of my housemates still work the hours I used to work. I live with three other girls and we all are chefs, which back in the heady days of no breaks and demented head chefs was comforting because we were all in the same boat. However now that I am no longer it is just a pain. Because if I don’t wait up for them then I could go a week without seeing them. And all my college friends have gone back home or are gone away which is bleak.
This means I have a huge amount of alone time at the moment, which is sometimes lovely but can sometimes just be lonely. So what I do is I wait up for them. This means that on average I am getting about five hours of sleep a night. I am demented. It’s funny because it’s only when you don’t get enough of it that you realise how important it is.
What not getting enough sleep does to me;
- I am so irrational. Case in point the other day I got into a semi screaming match with one of my chefs about a piece of paper.
- I have black spots in front of my eyes all the time.
- I suffer from poor concentration and foggy brain.
- I get through the day with the promise of a nap when I come home. Which never happens.
- Sometimes I take mild naps in work. The other day I was sent to the back of the kitchen to work the muffins and I used the huge dough ball as a pillow for a while. Now that is health and safety.
- My hands shake.
- When I am really tired I eat all the bleedin’ time.
- Sometimes I geniunely think I am going to pass out from lack of sleep.
- Filtering my thoughts, especially the crazy ones, is a lot harder.
- Everything seems too hard.
So for the month of June I am going to take my Mom’s advice and just try to get more sleep. She told me to just be lonely for a while and that in the end it would be worth it. Now I don’t know about that yet but we shall see. I just realise now that if I keep going on the way I am I will end up like Edward Norton’s character from Fight Club. I just don’t have the stamina to be beating the shit out of people all the time. I will do updates on the benefits/drawbacks as the month progresses.
As you know I am big into the healthy lifestyle thing. I rarely take public transport or go in cars. Instead I walk and cycle EVERYWHERE. This would lead you to the conclusion that I was in some shape or form good at it. Oh no! Quite the contrary. I would go so far as to say I was the worlds WORST cyclist. I frequently cry while on my bike. Out of fear. I fear everything, young children, old people, crossing the road, cars, other cyclists, traffic lights, cycling in the rain, cycling in the dark. The list is endless. Another thing that happens too often when I am on my bike is that upon dismounting the whole thing falls with a clatter to the ground. This is actually quite dramatic looking. I have had cars stop before and ask me am I ok. Yes I am ok, I just apparently have no control over the inanimate object I am holding with both my hands. I am also very slow. Who knows why?! I think I am cycling at the speed of light. When I was younger I used to cycle through the park on my way to school. There was this Junkie (for those not in the know a junkie is someone who is addicted to heroin) who had the same schedule as me. Every morning without fail he would over take me,despite the fact that he was both smoking, drinking and cycling all at the same time. Sometimes I start laughing while cycling too, then suddenly I have turned into the slow, shaky cyclist in the red helmet being overtaken by children of five years of age who is smiling inanely to herself. And yet I persevere. Because I KNOW IT’S GOOD FOR ME. And Because I have no other way of getting around. Everyday when I am cycling slowly home, sobbing silently to myself I think……..I am helping my heart. Next time you think “Oh I won’t do that I will look stupid” think of me falling off a stationary bike and just do it.